Happy 7 week old Baby!!

Baby Girl is growing up so fast!

Bowie gets up to feed her with me at 2 AM... what a trooper

Dad filing her nails

Out of 164 pacifiers, she only sucks on the one from the hospital

Dainty baby sleeping

Hi everyone! Little one is doing really good still at home with her Mommy and Daddy. She continues to get bigger and make us deliriously happy. I can see more and more of her personality emerge every day, and I can't wait until she gets older and really shows us what she's made of : )  

This week Avery Grace had some issues with eating. And gas/burping. We gave her some gripe water and then fed her, which she promptly spit up...actually maybe throw up may be a more accurate term. We let her rest for a bit and then refed her about an ounce, just so she wasn't crying with hunger. She spit up again a little and fell fast asleep right after. I hate when she throws up, I can just see in her face how much it tires her. She didn't end up finishing the next bottle b/c she was so tired. She's eating 80 cc's consistently, which is good. We tried to give her 3 full ounces per feeding (90 cc's), but she threw that up a couple times before we decided her tiny tummy wasn't quite ready for that amount. We'll move up to 85 probably sometime this week and hopefully all goes well. 

We also tried to give her a bath after feeding her one day (in the hospital, we did bath and then eating), and that did not end well either. She threw up her green, smelly vitamins everywhere after she was all nice and clean! Lesson: do not jostle the baby after she's eaten. She also has to taken to withholding her burps from us for about 15-20 minutes every time she eats. At the magical witching hour of 3:30 AM, this is very frustrating. It's hard to be anything but loving towards this little bear, I mean, have you seen her face?? I really have come to look forward to our snuggle fests between the hours of 2 and 5:30 in the morning... we watch The Office and snooze and get many, many kisses in. She sleeps on my chest and I literally die a little on the inside, trying to soak up every moment I can with her being this little. She has completed my life in ways I didn't know my soul was lacking. I'm so much more a better person, simply because I'm this little girls Mommy. Thank you Lord for blessing me with this beautiful gift!

We have Avery's follow up eye doctor appointment on Thursday, just to make sure her retinas are fully formed now and she has no issues with her eyes and being premature. Her next pediatrician appointment is next Tuesday, and we'll see how big our bear has gotten! I pray that she continues to be a healthy baby, free of any sickness and infection. This is a prayer that will never go away- I worry now more than ever, especially with people coming over and holding/touching her. We haven't really held the "no flu shot, no service" rule to the strictest degree, unfortunately. I stress over that so much. I want everyone in the whole world to come over and see her, touch her, hold her and give her the much deserved kisses I'm sure she loves. But all it takes is one person, whose been around someone sick, or a small germy child, and my baby is back in the NICU. And I cannot handle that, as I hope that everyone understands. It's so difficult to try and pick and choose who is allowed around Avery, and I can't say that I've made the best decisions thus far. I try and be fair. I try and understand how other people feel, not being able to see her. But at the heart of the matter, and the most important thing for me to keep in mind, is that my child's health should be the first and foremost priority to me, and if someone's feelings get hurt in the process, then so be it. My daughter cannot protect herself, and she's counting on me to do so. I have to be braver, to say, "no, I'm sorry, you can't hold her or come over right now".  And I have to be prepared for whatever fallout that incurs.... because at the end of the day, her health means more to me than anything. More than angry family and disappointed friends. I hope that everyone understands that, but I can't snap my fingers and make it happen. I can only pray for acceptance and patience for those who are being held at bay, for the time being. 

We appreciate everyone's love and support and yearning to see and hold our precious baby. We can't wait to show her off to everyone who will look! She's so perfect. But there has to be a "right time", and unfortunately, that might be a little ways off. I didn't pick this for Avery, but we know how blessed we are that she is healthy and happy right now, at home, with us, and that's where we want her to stay. 

I went up to my old job today to talk with my supervisor about coming back to work. With our financial situation, it looks like I will have to go back sometime in the beginning of January. It is with much sadness that I was told I would not be hired back at Grapevine. I miss my Brooke and Crystal so much! I really was blessed more than words with being able to work with those two phenomenal women, who have grown into true and lovely friends. I didn't think my life was able to hold more friendships, as I barely have time to devote to the ones I have. But God knows what He is doing! He put me at that center in order to meet these people and opened my heart and my life so that these friendships could form and enrich my life. What an awesome God that could see how much I benefit from having these girls as friends and co-workers! But alas, they had to hire someone in my extended absence. I understand. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but I was assured that I would have "a job" when I was ready to return. It looks as though by "a job", it might not be exactly what I had in mind. My boss mentioned several options such as only working Saturday and Sunday, and then perhaps being a floater to whatever center needed me. While I would be grateful for anything at this point, it was a little disappointing to not hear, "Okay, this is what we have open, when did you want to start?" I guess that would just be too easy! I just have to pray that the Lord will open up whatever position He wants me in. Proverbs 3:5-6 was brought up in church this past Sunday, and it's something that I've been having to live by every day for the past 12 weeks. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your path straight." So, that's what I'm doing! Giving this situation to God. Trusting completely in Him. Knowing that He will take care of me, whether it be staying with this company or searching elsewhere for a new job. 

We continue to delight in God's plan for us and for our little girl! We're so excited to have our bebe home with us for Christmas- this is going to be the best Christmas we've ever had. Jesus is so faithful to us and we strive to always glorify him in all we do. I can't wait to get presents for the kids who aren't getting much this holiday season... I picked up a list of stuff at church last Sunday. I'm actually going to give some of Avery's stuff, she has so much. Our baby is one lucky and blessed angel, and we need to share our overabundance when we can. Thank you Jesus for all your blessings, for your love, and how clearly You show yourself every single day. Every victory is Yours! 

Hope everyone has a great week, and I will be checking in again in a couple days as CJ will be taking the computer with him this weekend when he goes off to drill. First time alone with the kiddo... wish me luck! (Disclaimer: my mom is probably going to come over and stay the nights with us, but this will be the first time we are without Dad's help) Nervous, but excited for Avery and I's one on one time. Love to all!! xox