I wish....

I wish that this life, and this world, were perfect.
I wish that I could stay home with my child and still bring in the big bucks to make sure our lives are easier.
I wish I could never work out, eat what I wanted, and still lose the last 20 pounds of this baby weight.
I wish my husband could be at job he loves, that challenges him, that makes him happy.
I wish that every day, and all the time, we could smile and laugh and find the goodness in other people.

I wish writing this post wasn't neccessary.

But, I digress.
This blog, in its entirety, was started for the sole purpose of updating anyone who was interested, on the daily in's and out's of our daughter's stay in the NICU after her birth. I was so overwhelmed, and having to relay the many stories, many times to many different people, only served to stress me out more. I love writing... anyone who knows me can attest to this. This blog was an outlet, and a savior to me, while we went through the most trying time of our lives to date. Let me be specific about what this blog is NOT for:

• talking about anyone other than Avery, CJ and myself
• up for discussion or public debate
• an invitation to have hurt feelings if, by chance, you are not mentioned in said blog
• a topic that should ever be thrown back in my or my husband's face

Having said all this, I am choosing to take the road that I know God would want me to follow. I can't control anyone's actions/thoughts/words...except my own. And today, I choose to be positive. To laugh. To smile. To love. To be able to choose to not let negative people in or around my life, and the life of my child. Life is such a funny, beautiful thing. I want to embrace that, whole-heartedly. And I have to accept, and be okay with the fact that some people enjoy ruminating in negativy, always. I can pray for them... I will continue to pray for them. But, this is the absolute last time I will take precious time on this blog to talk about anything but Avery, her progress, and the success (and maybe some small failures) of our little family.

If you have an issue with anything said (or not said) on this blog, please don't read anymore. Ever.

This is a place for positivity, for uplifting, a place for me to tell the people who genuinely care about Avery, how she is doing. We love and appreciate those people who can agree and share in the happiness that we feel having our little miracle baby home and happy with us! Thank you again to all who support us; you are priceless in many ways : )

MARCH FOR BABIES 2012

I forgot to include this in my post!

We are walking in the annual March for Babies on April 21, 2012 in Dallas, TX. This is sponsored by the March of Dimes, which funds research and supports premature babies. I have started Avery Grace's Team, and we will be raising money and recruiting walkers until the event date! Please consider doing one or the other (or both!), in honor of our sweet baby girl, who at 4 months, is doing far and away better than we ever thought possible 17 weeks ago.

Here is the link to our team's page:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1773169

From there, you can join the team, or donate money towards this amazing cause. Thanks in advance for your support! We are very excited about this!!

Almost 4 months old!

Sleepy Princess

In Aunt Terri's outfit...how cute!

After Picture Day

Camo Baby!

It's bath time @ Aunt Crystal & Lindsey's!

Bows by Aunt Kasie... she actually likes this one!

Jackie O sunglasses... its hard being this cute.

Not quite fitting in her 3-6 month jammies yet

She dreams and smiles a lot : )

Cozy in her new pajama's!

First jeans experience

Daddy and Baby Bear just hanging out

She is blessed with MANY aunts that love her!

Hi there Mama!

They bought me WHAT?

Snug as a bug in a fur blanket

She fell asleep like this... greatness!

She loves her Great Granny!

Passed out cold

Look at those lips!

Love that face!

Now that face... she's probably making Mom a surprise in her diaper

Hi everyone! Can you believe how much our girl is growing?? She is doing so good, and we are loving and enjoying every moment with her. Now on to the updates!

Feeding: She is still taking 6-9 bottles a day, about 4 to 4.5 ounces in every bottle. I've read that they are supposed to be eating 2.5 ounces per pound of weight, so in keeping with that, she should be eating about 30 ounces per day. Which at one point (when she was waking up religiously at night as well) she was eating. Now, with her sleeping as she is during the night (more on that in a min!), she probably only takes about 24-28 ounces per day. I was really worried that with me cutting out the breastmilk in her diet, that her weight gain would stall. Breastmilk naturally has 20 calories per ounce (I think that's the measurement) in it, and we were also fortifying it with Neosure, which is 22 calorie formula. Now she is just taking the 22 calorie formula. But I have to say, just from looks, she is not hurting at all for food : ) We have a pedi appt next Monday in order to weigh her, but I'd guess she's around 12 pounds now? Praise the Lord! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her fat rolls... I remember so vividly wishing with all my heart to have a fat, healthy baby. And now we do! 

We did have to end up starting her on reflux meds... she's taking Prevacid, which is proven effective and supported by the staff of our NICU (hi ladies!! We miss you guys so much!) and then a probiotic that also has been given good reviews. So far, she is pooping a lot more (woohoo!) but I have to say, I haven't really noticed much more of a change, in terms of her being more comfortable laying flat on her back, or eating sitting up without incident. She still squirms and seems uncomfortable when both of those things occur. However, its still relatively early in the game to say neither work, so we'll hang in there and hope and pray these work in our favor in the long run. I think the main point is to get the spitting up and choking episodes to stop. Which, since she's been on these meds, haven't happened. But we also want her to sleep on her back and eat a little easier. There are a couple positions we've had to try in order to feed her, and they are not "traditional", but she seems to enjoy them a lot more than just sitting up and eating. We will keep you posted on how this goes! Praying for the best! The doctor said with the combo of both meds, she could be " a different baby" in terms of sleeping/eating. That would be awesome!

Sleeping: Baby Girl is now pretty consistently sleeping through the night!! We have a small hiccup every now and then, but on most nights, she takes a bottle at 8 or 9 then falls asleep until around 2. She'll take another bottle then and then sleep until around 7 or 8. We are so happy with this! As I said, there have been just a couple days where she is up crying until 11 or so, but then goes down until about 8 AM, but I'll take it! She is sleeping mostly in her bouncy seat, and one of us sleeps on the couch next to her. We're still taking turns with that. I have the 1st shift, from after dinner until 1 AM. Then I sleep from 1-7 AM, then get up and go to work. CJ takes her from 1 AM on... and I LOVE him for understanding that I need at least 6 hours in order to function at work. I LOVE him for staying home with our daughter, for loving her so much and taking care of her while doing 15 other things every day. Although we still aren't in a crib yet, we are getting a lot more rest, and I know this is just a passing phase. Once she is a little older and we can let her "self soothe" or "cry it out" (I hate that term... i don't want her to cry), we'll try her pack n play or crib. I am satisfied with the leaps and bounds Avery is making in this area, and know it will only get better from here! She's awake A LOT more during the day, so we are reading to her, singing to her, working with her as much as possible. She does take a small nap here and there, which helps Dad when he needs to do his homework : ) She's also entered the stage in which she fights sleep. She gets so exhausted, as evidenced by her drooping, heavy eyelids, but will not just give in and go to bed! I have had to pace the small apartment for over 2 hours sometimes, just to get her to drift off! She loves to be rocked and bounced, and especially when you stand up and do this. She's so dang cute, I just can't seem to mind much. 

Development: She has rolled over a couple more times and is holding her head up a lot more. She got her first chair from Aunt Carly (Bumbo Seat), but we haven't had a chance to get it yet. I can't wait! That will help her practice sitting up on her own. She is standing when we hold her arms, and just constantly surprises us with how much body strength she has. In her neck, her arms, her legs. She is living up to her Super Baby name! She is batting at her toys that hang across her activity mat and her car seat. She is trying to talk SO MUCH as well! She's always making sounds that I think sound like the beginning of words : ) Avery will be crawling in no time, I'm fairly sure. She gets her legs under her and scoots when she's on her belly... more b/c she does NOT like being awake and on her tummy, I think. She's also drooling up a storm, which is the first sign that..... wait for it..... she's teething!!!! She actually won't have teeth for awhile, but I can't believe beginning to give my BABY... well, BABY food, is on the horizon. Shes growing up way too fast. I plan on buying the Baby Bullet and making her baby food. Or just using our food processor, but I need to get the little bullets that come with it to keep the food in. She might be a picky vicky like her mama now, but my kid is going to EAT HEALTHY, and not anything like me... I'm bound and determined. She makes the funniest faces, and I think is becoming a lot more aware of whats going on around her. I feel like she's an old soul, the way she looks at us sometimes. Her personality is really starting to shine through in everything she does, and its such a joy to watch her develop. I can't wait until we are chasing after her! She is also smiling a lot  and has even giggled a few times. These are absolutely the moments I live for. She grabs onto the rings on her activity mat and hangs on, which really impresses me! We received the 1st mail in survey from her Follow-Along program, and CJ and I sat down and filled out what she's doing and not doing. They go by her adjusted age, so we got the 2 month old questions. I am happy to report she got a YES on everything almost! The only thing she's not really doing yet is following things with her eyes that are far out in front of her and that aren't making noise. If something is noisy, she will look at it and follow it. But not if it's just a toy or a person that's silent. So I'm sure that will be coming soon, but not yet.

Overall, we are in a really good, happy place. We had Cindie come out and take Avery and ours pictures about a week ago, so those will be available to check out hopefully soon! I am loving my new job, and look forward to going every day. I don't love being away from CJ and Aves that much during the day, but I know it is necessary for our family. With the raise and promotion I received, we'll be able to rent a nice house come the end of May. I would do whatever it takes to make sure my family is taken care of... so this makes me feel good that I'm able to contribute. I am so, so blessed that this is the plan God had for us. We're also going to officially join our church in March. Our 1 year anniversary is quickly approaching!! February 25th definitely snuck up on us : ) I can't believe we got engaged, married, pregnant, and had a baby in the span of a year. Such a true testament to who CJ, Avery and I are as people.... impatient!! I'm not sure what we are doing to celebrate, but I thank the Lord we have come as far as we have, as a family. It hasn't always been easy, but it has always been worth it. CJ is doing great in school, and AWESOME as a dad and hubby. I'm so proud of the way he balances everything and does it all to keep Avery and I happy. He is at drill this weekend, and is coming home tonight! Aves and I are getting the house ready to welcome him home : ) Other than that, we're just living each day the best we can. We are blessed. We are happy. We are learning the art of parenthood, and how to navigate making the best decisions for Avery and ourselves. We are thankful. We are praising God for everything He has given us, all the grace and mercy He continually bestows upon our family... there are never enough words to adequately describe how lucky we are to have what we do.

We love our family and our friends and the people who have never failed to lift us up in prayer, who support us, who care for us, who love us and make sure we always know they are there. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! We hope God washes you in blessings, in peace, in happiness. We appreciate you!!

xo

My, how she's grown!

She used to be a skinny minny!

Socks weren't fitting quite yet

Her thunder thighs have multiplied!

Just a little comparison : ) Can't wait to see whats to come for our beautiful girl!

14 Weeks!

Isn't this hilarious! My friend Crystal made it

She held on to that ring for a good 15 minutes

Daddy and Baby having some one on one time

3 month old Big Girl! Peace, Man!

She hates bows. It's fine. 

At the pedi's office... she's so big!

Loves riding in the car/carseat. Falls asleep right away

1st time napping in her crib

Very docile at night : )

My mom and hubby had fun posing her while I slept

Love my sleepy baby

This is where she hangs out while Mommy and Daddy eat dinner

Hi everyone! So sorry I haven't posted in awhile... life has been hectic here! But we are all good. Many, many new and exciting changes in our house. So I'll jump right in...

Avery has officially switched completely to formula. This was met with much resistance by moi, but after she started scream crying every time we put a half formula/half thawed milk bottle in her mouth, I knew her breastmilk days were numbered. I had such high, grandiose hopes of giving her my milk for a full year, and if I didn't have that DANG excess of lipase in it, we would probably have enough stored milk to last her to that date. But, she is my daughter, after all.... so a Picky Vicky she turned out to be. We only feed her Similac Neosure now (holy cow, formula is way expensive!!) and will keep her on that until she is at least 6 months. I am currently signed up on Similac's website to receive coupons and samples in the hopes of making feeding her a little less stressful, and also coupon trading online with other moms! So if any family or friends happen to start receiving coupons/samples/checks in the mail from Similac, I may or may not have signed you up, and you can just forward them along to Avery : ) She appreciates you greatly! I promise, she told me!

She is having some issues already in the switch, which truly break my heart. With breastmilk babies, they tend to poop at almost every diaper. Avery was doing that, if not every other diaper. Now with the formula, she's lucky to go once a day. My poor already gassy baby is miserable I'm fairly certain, most of the time she's awake. She just squirms around and looks so uncomfortable. Hopefully her tummy gets used to this soon and she can start enjoying her bottles more. I honestly dread feeding her at the moment b/c its such an ordeal... it takes her close to 30+ minutes to get a bottle down, and she never finishes the whole thing. She squirms, spits up, bears down, etc. almost the entire time she's drinking. I really think she has a bit of reflux, and I'm so hesitant to put her on medication (which is what the pediatrician will want to do) so I'm trying to ride it out to see if her system will adapt before we try anything else. So right now, she is taking 3.5-4 oz bottles every 3 hours during the day. During the night though.....

She's sleeping almost 5-8 hour stretches!!! That's right, it wasn't a typo. Our babe is getting the hang of this! Thank you Jesus!! This began about 2 weeks ago, I'd say. She'll fall asleep after her 8 or 11 PM bottles and not wake up for anywhere between 5-7 hours... one time she actually went 8 hours! Since her weight is more than healthy now (more on that in a minute), the doctor said not to wake her up at night to eat. Hey, you don't have to tell these sleep deprived parents twice! A couple of nights, she has woken up at her normal 3 hour mark, but has taken a bottle and fallen straight back to sleep. We are so enjoying this stage, let me tell you. She's still most comfortable sleeping on our chests on the couch, so we sometimes take turns with her out there. Or my current favorite thing in the world: SLUMBER PARTY. Avery, CJ and I all sleep on the couch and we just take turns getting up with her if she awakes. I love having my little family all together, all night. Sometimes we stay up talking and its really just such a neat bonding time for us. With me going back to work next Monday, I think our Slumber Party days will have to be permanently relagated to the weekends, but that's okay. She's been able to sleep for a few hours in her bouncy seat and her carseat in the stroller as well lately. Baby steps! I think I'm going to purchase a Rock n Play for her (like we have room for any more baby gear), but I have been reading that since it's elevated near the head portion of the bassinet, babies with reflux do excellent in it. Avery HATES sleeping flat on her back (yet another reason I think she has a mild case of reflux). We are so proud of her progress in this area.

When we went to the pedi's office last Monday (the 16th), AG weighed in at 10 pounds, 1 oz! That's over 3 lbs in a month! The doctor was more than pleased with her weight gain obviously : ) She actually told us to cut her Neosure mixing in half, but that was when we were still doing half an half with the breastmilk. I hope that her weight gain doesn't stall or regress now that she's off the milk... she has another appt in Feb., so we won't really know until then. She is almost 22 inches long. The doctor put her on her tummy to see if she had any neck control, and not only did Avery hold herself up on her forearms for about 30 seconds, she then promptly rolled over.  That's right. I have the smartest, most advanced baby in the universe. We thought of course this was a fluke, but praised her anyway. However, I brought her home and put her on her stomach and she rolled over again! Babies aren't really expected to do that until they are 4 months or older. Since all the milestones will be going by Avery's adjusted age (just over a month old at this point), she is largely ahead of the game. I just got my first packet of stuff from the developmental people that came and evaluated her, so I need to go through that and let them know what she is doing now. The pedi was overall extremely happy with Avery and how's shes doing. 

She's also cooing and making the funniest noises lately... it almost sounds like she is trying to talk! She is also smiling big and it is not gas related! I DIED the 1st time I saw her do it. Now when I clap and sing to her, that seems to illicit a big gummy smile. Her personality is really starting to shine through, and that excites me to no end. She is WAY fun to play with now! We also had her 3rd RSV shot this month (here's praying she doesn't contract this, as the pedi said everyone has been getting it lately) and also her LAST appointment with the eye doc. Gracie is free and clear, with eyeballs that are so blue and completely and perfectly formed. She has no ROP. Thank you Lord! The pediatrician also said that her 2 follow up ultrasounds came back unchanged. She still has the small calcification in her brain, but it is so tiny, and hasn't grown at all, so they are not concerned with it. Also, she did still have some fluid in her left kidney, BUT she peed during the scan and thus, the fluid went away. So no more ultrasounds for our babe! She was deemed healthy and normal! Woohooooo!!!

Great news on the homefront: I GOT THE JOB AT CORPORATE! I am so excited, it's silly. I'll be the Executive Assistant to the President of the company, along with 4 other execs whose job titles momentarily elude me. I was offered the position the day after we found out that CJ would no longer be receiving unemployment. That was a HUGE chunk of our monthly living, and at that point we were both freaking out and having to talk very seriously about him going back into active duty while Aves and I stayed here, or him getting a night job that would have him leaving as soon as I got home from work. We were severely depressed at these options for about a week, but me being hired on @ Corporate along with a very generous pay raise, softened the blow for us a little. However a week later, we figured out that he can continue receiving benefits, and has since done so. Thank you Lord for this! We were going to have to make some very tough choices as a family, and now we have a little more time to do so. I start work this coming Monday, the 30th, and I can't wait. I had to go and buy some Big Girl clothes and hope that everything works out well. I am thrilled to be in this position. Although more and more, the thought of leaving Avery every day makes me so sad! I have to email CJ at least every 2-3 hours to check on her while I'm working at a clinic. We are going to look into joining a small group @ church as well, so some very positive things are looming on our horizon.

We did have one scary episode, which I won't go into graphic detail about, but has made us so much more aware and appreciative of Avery's life. One night a few weeks ago, I was in bed fast asleep and I hear CJ say, "OH CRAP!" very loudly. Normally I would have stayed in bed. I was exhausted and knew I had to get up to work in a few short hours. After all, my husband is a fantastic father and very capable of cleaning up whatever mess him and Avery had gotten into out in the living room. But for some reason, I popped out of bed and ran in to see what was wrong. Call it Mother's Instinct. He was furiously wiping down the couch and carpet. "Avery threw up everywhere, she's in her crib", he said when I asked what happened. I ran into her room and saw her in her crib, eyes as big as saucers, milk/formula all over her, coming out of her nose, and her mouth, and she was white as a sheet. She was choking. I grabbed her, turned her over, and beat on her back for what seemed like years. CJ came in and I flipped her over and saw she still wasn't breathing. He quickly took her and beat her on the back harder until she started to whimper. I held her for the next 4 hours, just to make sure she was okay. Her breathing was shallow and her color was off, but she was alive. To let myself think that if I hadn't gone in to check on her, if I hadn't gotten out of bed, Avery would have choked to death.... I can't even begin to explain it. Everytime I let myself think it, I have to squeeze her until she cries. I love my daughter with an intensity that I never thought possible... we've been through more than most people experience in a life time. And because of that, I think her and I have a connection that is unexplainable. Like the one I have with my own mother. CJ and I have since had the conversation that you can NEVER lay down a choking baby flat OR on her stomach unattended, and I think he understands the severity of it now. He felt horrible, as did I. It was far more scary than anything we even went through in the NICU, which is saying something.

All is well in the land of the Whitmires... thank you for keeping up with Avery and her Amazing Journey! I have a feeling this kid is going to wow us all in the coming months and years. She is so much more alert and awake during the day now, making eye contact almost all the time. She definitely knows what is going on around her. She's our deepest joy, our truest love, our brightest accomplishment. Thank you Jesus for blessing us with her, for allowing us to keep her, to raise her, to enjoy her and witness all the wonderful things she does every day. The Lord has been so good to our family. We praise Him every day for all He's done and continues to do. I feel Him, I see Him, working in our lives, in our family, in our daughter. How lucky we are to have His grace pour out on us. There's nothing we can't overcome with Him on our side!

Hoping everyone is doing great and is blessed! We love you!
xo,
Avery Grace & her Mama

Our babe is almost 12 weeks old! Happy 2012!

happy girl when she's up with Dad in the mornings

Getting changed at Grandma's house!

Whoops, I fell over

Fancy girl outfit

This is her "i'm in hog heaven" look

Sleepy girl with the chubby cheeks = my heart

She has crazy good neck strength

Not a happy girl at 3 AM and Mom wants to play photographer

"Seriously Mama??"

Hi everyone!! Sorry it's been so long for me to post... we've had a lot going on in the household, mostly just me working more than I had anticipated (thank you Jesus!) Avery is doing SO WELL, and continues to amaze us every single day. I have a feeling she's close to 8 and a half pounds now, can you believe it! Our girl is getting so big right before our eyes. She got to meet the rest of her cousins on New Year's Eve over at CJ's parents house, which was a lot of fun. Gma, Gdad, and Aunt Carly love to snuggle her and judging from the way she absolutely melts in their arms, she quite enjoys it too! We can't wait until she, Cara and Lily get older and can all run around and play together. That is going to be so much fun for lil miss!

Avery is now eating every 2-3 hours (absolutely no later during the day) and is taking between 110-130 mL's per bottle. Basically 4 ounces.... which would explain her triple threat of a chin. Hey, I wanted a fat baby more than anything, and I got her!! I'm a happy mama. So if she still gets in 8 bottles a day (sometimes 9), she gets anywhere from 28-36 ounces... sometimes she will scream with hunger and only take 3 ounces or go longer at night between bottles so only eat 8 bottles. It really depends on her moods. She hadn't thrown up at all or even spit up really (before this morning) in about 2 weeks or so. I really think we conquered the problem with figuring out about my soapy breast milk. Now unless she has to poop or burp, she sucks down her bottles with ease and comfort. She did projectile vomit this morning with me  (only about an ounce of 4 ounces though) b/c I could not for the love get a burp out of the kid! She was hanging on to it with all her might. Lo and behold when I went to burp her for the 4th attempt nearing the end of her bottle, she gave me back a little more than I bargained for. But she's mostly unfazed by this and ended up finishing the bottle after the little throw up episode with no problems. I am not near producing as much milk as I have been, and it's really frustrating to now have to sit for 30 min in order to get out 6-7 ounces as opposed to having previously pumped for 15 minutes and getting 8-10 oz, sometimes more. Part of me really wants to give this pumping thing up, mostly due to the huge inconvience it causes everyone ( I can only do things in 5 hour spans away from home), and now with me being back at work and busy, it's not really easy to break away more than once. But then I think about all the wonderful benefits Avery is getting from even the small amount I'm producing, and I know that I would do it forever if I have to. I have a feeling my body will tell me when it's not going to work with me anymore on this... I'm debating on whether or not to take an herbal supplement, Fenugreek, to try and get my production back up. I just really have to weigh all the benefits and the negatives. Right now, I'm supplementing about an ounce or so of each bottle with formula, which she takes with no problem (again, thank you Jesus!!) So i don't think that IF we had to switch to formula, she would be a finicky eater with that. Good news!

Sleeping... well, we have good days and bad nights, haha! Sometimes she will sleep 4-5 hours at night, and sometimes stay awake through the 3 hour time span that flies by between feedings. It really is a crapshoot. She still only wants to sleep on CJ and I's chest or with us holding her. Sometimes when she is in a deep milk coma, she will let us put her in the newborn napper or carseat for an hour or so in the evenings/early morning hours. During the day, she's much more pliable and accepting to sleeping in different places. It's something to do with the evening that is tricking her up! But I have to say, I am more than willing and happy to have this babe sleep on me as much as she wants. I know before I blink my eyes, she will be too big and that will kill me! I'm soaking up every single moment. I know eventually she will get on her own schedule and it will all fall into place. She can't really even self soothe yet, so I think that we will probably wait until she's old enough to do that until we really try and make her sleep in her crib/napper. She has been more awake and alert during the day lately, and really enjoys doing tummy time and laying on her activity mat looking at the lights and listening to the music. I've even caught her watching tv!! It was definitely funny. Her favorite shows include Friends, Law and Order: SVU and anything on the Cartoon Network : )

We had the developmental therapists come by yesterday and evaluate Avery. I really didn't know what to expect and she was asleep most of the time so I wasn't sure if they could get an accurate examination. Mostly they just asked us questions about what she's doing and then scored her off our answers. We did lay her down on her belly and she picked up her head and turned it completely to the other side, which was something no one was expecting! I think there was something like 8 categories, ranging from Fine Motor Skills, Gross Motor Skills, Socialization, etc. She should be scoring at Newborn for everything, because at her adjusted age, she is really only 2 and half weeks old. She did score at Newborn on 2 categories, but the rest scored at anywhere from 1.5 months to 4 months old!! We were in shock!! Our preemie baby, who we were scared would fall behind developmentally, is doing things a 4 month old should be doing. I thanked the Lord over and over. This doesn't mean it will always be like this. We will have to work with her and start doing more and more activities with her to ensure she stays ahead of the curve. But what a blessing : ) We just looked at each other in appreciation, like "Hey, we might be actually doing something right with this little one". It was a big sigh of relief. So now, she will be enrolled in the Follow Along program, which is basically a case manager sending us through the mail a list of milestones Avery should be hitting according to her adjusted age. We will mark down the things she is doing and not doing and send it back. The case manager will score it and if she is concerned at all that Avery is falling behind, she will contact us about getting her enrolled in a more direct care program. But so far, so good! Woohoooo!!

She has the 2 follow up ultrasounds of her head and her kidneys next Monday, if anyone could just pray over our babe that everything comes back normal and nothing is troubling or wrong, I would really appreciate it! I know she will be fine, as she has no symptoms of anything being "wrong" with her, but I'm a mom... I still worry. She has a pedi appt and her 3rd RSV shot this month and also her 3rd eye doc appt, which should hopefully be her last. At least, the eye doc had predicted that it would be. Fingers crossed for that!

All in all, Baby Girl is doing great. We are planning a trip up to the NICU soon (I know our nurses are going to love to see Ave, we miss them all SO MUCH!!! I think she was talking about making them some treats too...?) to drop off some preemie clothes for them. I'm going today to do bloodwork to donate all my frozen breastmilk. Gracie girl is such a wonderful, perfect, awesome blessing to CJ and I, and to the rest of her family. She got to go to Grandma's house for the 1st time last week, and she loved it! Grandma has a couple of drawers with stuff for her and she loves to rock AG while Mom caught a cat nap... what would I do without my mother, I never want to have to wonder! She loves Ave so much, and helps me out more than I could ever imagined I needed. She took off a whole weekend next weekend to babysit Avery while I work and CJ is away at drill. What a rockstar she is! Avery has newborn pictures lined up for this coming Sunday and we're excited about that! We will get birth announcements and send those out too. This little one isn't going to miss anything just b/c the 1st couple of months of her life were a little less than "normal".

CJ and I are doing good- he has enrolled in a Captain's course online and is liking it so far. He had to drop out of the previous one when I went into the hospital, so I'm very happy he has the opportunity to do this again. He is very driven and I appreciate that about him! We are currently having to explore options about school, work, houses, etc.... our finances are scary right now! I thought I would be able to stay out of work and only do part time all of January, but that isn't so. CJ might have to put school on hold and drill more or get a full time job. Whatever happens, we are a family, and we make these decisions together and support each other no matter what. No matter if the choices we make are quite scary! I know the Lord has blessed us, and will continue to bless our house and our family. He has always provided, and I have no doubt that will never change. I have a job interview for an Admin/Executive Assistant position @ my company's Corporate headquarters next Tuesday, which I'm SO nervous about! I just feel like I get so nervous and end up not being as well spoken as I'd like. But I need this job... I want this job. It could be a HUGE positive for our family, and a step in the right direction for my career. Please pray with me that if this is the job God has in store for me, that He will throw that door wide open and bless me with the position. I just want His will for our lives, and I hope that this is it. But I will follow where He leads! There are no open positions in any clinics currently, so they can't offer me a job in that aspect. It would be a big change, but I think a good one.

Thank you Lord for all you're continuing to do in our lives! You are working through us and I can feel that every day. Thank you for your blessings, for keeping Avery safe and healthy, for loving us and providing us with guidance on how to live more in your light.

Hope everyone has a wonderful 2012! We will be back within the week to update on Avery's u/s results, and my job interview outcome. xox