Happy 1 Week Baby Day! (32 week gestational age)

Avery & her 1 week old sign; Dad and Bebe during kangaroo care tonight

I can't believe its been a whole week since our precious girl was born. It feels like yesterday, and alternately like it happened 16 years ago! Time is such a funny thing. I imagine this doesn't get any easier either... the nurses in the NICU tell me that our remaining time here (since it will most likely be plagued with "two steps forward, one step back") will seem to go so slowly, but at the end when we are taking her home, will seem like it's flown by in a blip. Alrighty then, I'm ready for this part to whiz past me!! Although I'm also acutely aware that my baby is A WEEK OLD!! She can't be a week old.... she's growing up on me too fast ; )

Today was a good day for us. She had no Brady episodes last night and also continued to not give back anything when they checked her stomach contents. (Praise the Lord!!) At her 8:30 touch time, she did have about 1/2 a cc of this yellow/green mucous stuff, but they showed it to the nurse practioner and were told to keep up her feeds. At her 11:30 touch time, the same thing happened with the mucous. We also got to give her a bath! I love, love, LOVE washing her hair! Don't ask me why... okay, I'll tell you why. It's absolutely gorgeous hair for a flipping baby. All the nurses/people that see her remark about her hair... it's like she has natural highlights or something. (Please God, let this hold out until she has a job and can pay to have her own hair colored) She did really well during her bath, but of course Mom is hyper vigilent about her baby girl, so I did notice that she was not really that active. She was kicking here and there, but her eyes were almost always closed, she was yawning more than usual and just very... lethargic. I knew from previous conversations that this continued behavior could signal an infection. The nurses, CJ and I decided to wait until her 2:30 touch time to see if she woke up anymore, and if not, we would call the nurse practioner and see what she thought we should do. 

Lo and behold, at the 2:30 touch time, Avery was awake and ready to have her poopy diaper changed! She was extremely active and we decided that she just had a sleepy morning. Which actually is a very good thing, as her body is healing itself the most while she is in REM sleep. She got just a tiny bit of yellow stuff back in her tube, which no one was concerned about. My daughter's very petulant nature was showing at this time, as the sweet nurse Jessica (my favorite NICU nurse.... am I allowed to show favoritism in this area? All of the nurses are amazing!) was trying to take her blood pressure. It read high initially, so she tried to hold Avery's legs a little to keep her from kicking and thus making it read higher than it really was. She had to take it 3 different times b/c every time she took it, Avery's BP was higher and higher... it coincided with how hard she was trying to kick the cuff off of her! I think Jessica called her Stinker and Booger about 15 times today, but that made Mom happy, especially when she got a true reading of perfect pressure. Her next touch time she got back NO residuals and Grandma was able to come and say hi to her for about half an hour. Avery also pooped for a second time! (Lovely how excited I get about poop... as my sweet Sophia tells me, "Ladies do NOT talk about poop". Sorry S Bear, but this time I have to!) I have to say, even though being in the hospital for close to 7 weeks has not been the epitome of fun, it has been such a pleasure to spend the great deal of time with my mom. We have grown so much as friends in this time, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. She can me laugh (and make me crazy) like no one else can, and I'm so blessed by her close presence in my life and Avery's life. She is totally going to be a Grandma's girl! (As long as Grandma does not make her wear headbands with bows/flowers the size of her head.....Mom, don't even think about it). 

At 8:30 Dad got to spend some QT with the little one while Mom went upstairs and got some more milk made up for her. The nurses told me today that since Avery hasn't been eating and even now is only taking such a small amount that they have an entire shelf in their freezer with just my milk in it. Whoops : ) They said when I leave the hospital and pump at home, to freeze it and leave it there and they will let me know when to bring some more up. That is way better in my book than not producing enough for her. I'm thankful!! And can't wait till she tolerates more milk. Nurse Jess listened to her tummy today and said that it was rumbling up a storm (compared to yesterday when the nurse heard nothing), so we are definitely moving in the right direction as far as her bowels. However, when they checked her tummy contents this evening, she gave back about 2 of 3 cc's of her milk : ( Maybe she just wasn't hungry? When we got there, she was sprawled out on her back, and I'm thinking that could be why she didn't digest all of it. She always does good when she's on her tummy or right side, so I made sure she was on her stomach/right side for kangaroo care and afterwards when they wrapped her up in baby burrito. Praying for full digestion at 11:30!!! She did have a Brady episode while Dad was holding her tonight, but he said she recovered immediately with no outside help. Being on Dad's chest is obviously pretty dang comfortable,and who could blame a girl for forgetting to breath for just a moment?? There was no doctor today, so no labs or anything were run. She still weighed in at 3 pounds, so hopefully she gains a little by tomorrow night.

Ahhhhh, tomorrow. So many things are about to happen. This is my last night in the hospital. I am actually incredibly sad about this! I do not want to go home without my child. I can't imagine what will be going through my mind as I walk all my stuff down to the car in the morning, sit in the passenger seat as my husband drives me back to our apartment, back to our old life... the life I don't feel like I necessarily recognize any more. My life changed in an instant, and is continuing to change every day. CJ finished the nursery today (thank you my Love, for everything you do to make me happy. I can't wait to finish this with you for our sweet girl and I know she will appreciate all you've done for her one day! Probably not till she's 22, but still!!) I'm nervous that instead of feeling happy when I go into her nursery, I will be sad that she's not in there to fill it up. I don't want a constant reminder that our baby isn't with us, but I don't think I will need the nursery in order to feel that way in the first place. I pray that that room will be a place of excitement and love, and I'm grateful that I have some time in order to make it perfect before Avery comes home. I plan on being at the hospital as much as possible, but will most likely at some point need someone (or multiple people) to stage an intervention and tell me that Avery isn't going to die if I'm not at every single touch time. I do want to try to get back to a somewhat normal existance, where I eat dinner with my husband, walk the dog in the mornings, have a drink with my friends, visit my families houses just because. Heck, I even made a hair appointment for my birthday next week! I know Avery doesn't care that Mom has roots about a mile long, and to be honest, neither do I really. But everyone keeps saying I need to do something for myself for the big 2-7, and so I will try. More than anything I know I just need to rest. Sleeping in 2 hour intervals really wears on a girls face, I can tell you that! My apologies in advance to whomever happens to be on the other end of the phone line when I call tomorrow hysterical over being a "bad mom" for leaving my girl... Lord, let me just get through tomorrow in one piece!

Tomorrow they will most likely draw all labs on Avery... she is looking less red, so we pray that her jaundice levels continue to drop. I really want her to be able to put on some clothes soon, which they can do once they are off the UV lights. They are also going to do a head sonogram (merely a routine procedure for all preemie babies) to see if she has any bleeding in her brain. The nurses assure me that this is really rare in a baby her age, they mostly see this more predominantly in 23-28 week old babies. Still, I worry. Shocker, I know. 

Prayer Requests

• That tomorrow's labs come back all clean- we pray for no infections, continued lowering of jaundice levels, and all other bloodwork to be at a healthy level.
• That the sonogram of her head shows no bleeds at all or anything else abnormal.
• That she continues to process and digest all of her food completely, giving back no residuals and that she starts to poop all on her own without the enemas!!
• That she gains weight, even a little, we will take it! 
• That clinically, she continues to be a healthy baby. We pray that her "lazy bowels" start/continue to move and work more, so that her feeds can be increased and we can progress in the right direction as far as feeding goes. 

Today, like every day, we give all glory and thanks to God for our little girl being where she is today. He truly and honestly shows Himself in her progress every day, and we are so blessed that she is doing as well as she is. Mom forgets she is only a week old! I think she is SuperBaby! As God so eloquently reminds me, we continue to trust in Him that Avery will be just fine and He is taking care of any issues she may have. There is a peace that comes with knowing everything is going to work out, even in the scary times. Thank you Lord for being constant and letting us know that You are never far from us or our child. You are awesome!!

Going to check in with her at 11:30 before retiring for the evening. Thanks to everyone for reading, praying and loving us! xox