Day 26- I'm a Big Girl Now!

My Sweet Baby Doll

Cool pants!

LOVE.HER.

Today was a great day for Ms. Avery. It was definitely also a lesson for Mom in patience, which is something I don't think I was necessarily blessed with from birth. When we went this morning, the nurse put Avery in her big girl crib and we were so excited for her! So far she has maintained her temperature like a champ... I swear, she is so hot natured, just like CJ and I. She finished all 4 bottles yesterday (Thursday) without any spit up (YAY!) and actually finished her one this morning in 17 minutes. She also had lots of poop, which obviously we love to see : )

When the doctor rounded, he upped her feeding amount from 35 cc's to 37. She took her second bottle at 2:30 in 15 minutes and she also proved by keeping her temp stable for 6 hours that they could wheel that isolette away : ) Mommy was SO HAPPY to see that thing go! I can't believe she was in there for 3 and a half weeks. Let me tell you the elation I feel being able to bend over and touch and kiss my daughter whenever I want now. It's pure heaven. 

At her night feeding (Daddy has gone to Galveston for the weekend to drill) she was up to 1850 grams!! That's just over 4 lbs and 1 oz. However, when Mom went in at 8:30 tomorrow morning (its tricky writing from the future) the nurse had written down that she was actually 1891 grams. Now, I know that couldn't be right. I had seen the 1850 with my own two eyes. Maybe she weighed her after we fed her the 40 cc's of milk? I ended up asking the nurse today (future today, Saturday) to weigh her at 2:30 to prove that the nurse obviously got her weight wrong last night. Except that little girl actually weighed 1920 grams, or 4 lbs 3.7 oz.  Well, that put me right in my place didn't it?? I can't believe she is gaining so well. Thank you Jesus!! I pray that it is healthy weight and not all fluid. We will see what she ends up weighing at 8:30 on Saturday night. 

At this feeding, Avery wasn't very interested. Thats the only thing I can think to say about it. She was squirmy and fussy and kept pushing the milk back out of her mouth. She wasn't latched on well at all. It was very frustrating and equally heartbreaking for me, as I just want her to eat and move forward in this process that is the NICU. Eventually the 30 min they give her to finish the bottle lapsed, and I was defeated. He tube fed her the remaining 20 cc's she didn't eat. When we went to change her, she proceeded to FILL 3 diapers with poop! So maybe that was why she wasn't very hungry... girl had to go!! There are many things that it could be attributed to. None that make it easier to swallow, but it is what it is. I have high expectations. Shoot me. 

I had the nurse call me at 3 AM to let me know if she finished her 2:30 bottle (which she did). She took about 26 minutes to do this. Although they "allow" 30, they really want them to finish in 15-20 minutes. There is a baby that is about to leave that eats 50 cc's in 5 min! Maybe one day that will be our sweet girl. 

In Mommy news for a moment, my biopsy results came back and one mole was "abnormal", but not pre-cancerous or cancerous. And the other mole was fine. Praise the Lord for these results! I was worried about this a lot. I am going to have to go back in to the OB and have her look at my incision. I'm not sure its healing correctly, and its still hurting me at weird times that I think it shouldn't be. I'm very scared that they'll want to open me back up and re-stitch me or that its infected and I'll have to pack the wound for something crazy like 4 months... (yes, I read The Bump too much, but this is very common). I'm continuing to pray that I am miraculously healed in the next day or so and won't even need to go in!! (but probably will no matter what. peace of mind for everyone)

To fast forward a little- I just got back from the hospital and today Avery had a routine sonogram to look at her kidneys/bladder b/c apparently she had a 2 vessel umbilical cord instead of a 3. This is semi-common. However its caught most times on a sono when the woman is actually still pregnant, and this is the first I've heard of this. So they did the sono. And the nurse practitioner came in and said that the report was back.... and was vague. It said "there was fluid in her pelvic area". She wasn't exactly sure what that meant or if it was indicative of anything being wrong. Also the report said that Avery's bladder was full, so she mentioned maybe that's what the "fluid" was. She wants me to come in tomorrow (Sunday) at her 11:30 touch time when the neo natologist has had a chance to look at her films and see what he thinks it could be. The nurse did say that the normal things they look for to be wrong with a 2 vessel cord baby are not seemingly present in Avery, so we do give God many thanks for that. However, obviously I am terrified. I promised my husband I wouldn't Google what this could be and I'm doing everything except to tie my hands behind my back to keep that promise. I know it will just serve to scare the daylights out of me when I'm already a basket case, and that's not something I wish to happen. But the waiting.... the not knowing... its the worst. How do people function when waiting to hear test results? I don't want to eat, I don't want to sleep, I don't want to do anything except camp out at her bedside until that doctor comes in tomorrow. I want to lay hands on my baby and pray for her until 11:30 tomorrow morning. I know I call on my prayer warriors more than normal, but can you please pray that this is nothing? That the fluid means nothing, that no action will have to be taken, that our girl is completely and 100% healthy? I am numb right now. I know everyone says, "It's 3 steps forward and 1 step back".... but that 1 step back is killing me on the inside. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to shake someone and make them tell me my baby girl is fine and there's nothing to worry about. But there always is something to worry about. 

I'll post as soon as I hear tomorrow. It's her 4 week birthday : ) Can't believe we've come so far. God has been so perfectly wonderful to us in these weeks passed... We are blessed beyond all measure. I know that whatever comes our way in Avery's life, He will continue to bless us, continue to carry us when the road is hard, continue to show up when we feel lost and helpless. How comforting to me that I know He loves and cares for my daughter and can fix all the things that the doctors cannot? As much as I'm upset tonight, I also feel peace. I know Avery is taken care of. I know the road He's paved for her is so special, and whatever roadblocks that pop up, He has also given her the tools to conquer them. She is here for a purpose, and I can't wait until she is old enough to be told about how the Lord, every day, saved her. In more ways than one. 

Thank you for praying, for believing, for being there for us when life is a little scary. We thank God for each and every one of you.