Day 31 & 32- With some photos

First Thumb Sucking Experience

1 month old angel baby

Avery loved to celebrate her 1 month birthday!

Hip Hip Hooray! I'm one month old today!

My big girl really shined today... I brought her carseat from home as well as an outfit for the hospital to take her pictures in. However, I think maybe Daddy accidentally shrunk it! So we might be donating that to the NICU. She had her eye exam and has a followup appt with the doctor in 3 weeks, which is completely routine. ALL preemie babies eyes aren't fully formed and so we have to take extra care to make sure Avery's grow correctly. He did say that she should have no issues. She also had her Hep B vaccine during the night and did well with that. She was very lethargic all day but took her bottles well. More than the doctor is requiring every time. The night nurse said that if she Brady's or doesn't eat well, they aren't alarmed on this day b/c the eye exam is really taxing on the babies. As of her birthday, her weight is up to 4 lbs 8.4 oz. We set the tentative date to room in Saturday night and come home Sunday.

Baby Bear wrapped up during the carseat test

Doesn't she look like a doll?

Daddy feeding her

Today, she started off by Brady'ing while taking her first bottle. I freaked. Because I was the one feeding her. The wonderful NICU nurse Jessica said that since it was while she was eating, it didn't have to "count" and set us back another 5 days, mostly bc they attribute them to lack of coordination with the "suck, swallow, breathe" trio. I breathed huge sigh of relief. I felt that this was just a one time occurrence. We learned we'd actually have to room in on Sunday, as her last apnea spell was on the 13th and the rule is 7 days out from that date. She was sleepy again while taking her 11:30 and 2:30 bottle, but Jessica said since she'd had a very busy few days, this was expected. It could take a full 24-48 hours for her to snap back into her routine. She passed her carseat test (yay!!!) She ended up staying in there about 3 hours! It was sooooooo cute, CJ and I came in to feed her and saw her still in there. She's so little, the straps really do overtake her. As I mentioned in previous post, she ended up Bradying 2 times back to back when we went at 5:30. It was beyond traumatizing to see my child turn blue. Obviously I didn't handle that very well. Was too upset to go to her 8:30 feeding, but CJ did. He learned a new position to feed her in which hopefully will cut down on her Bradying. She did have a very brief one at the end of her feed, but she was exhausted. The rest of the night she didn't Brady, although by that point, Mom was in her black hole of despair.

I wanted to tell of the coolest thing though. When CJ came home from feeding her, I began to cry again. He was talking about wanting to keep her in the NICU longer, and even though I know this is what is best for her, it was sad for me. As I thought about Thanksgiving without my baby, and CJ and I were sitting on the couch, I started sobbing. Scream crying, I like to call it. And while I was crying, the song I mentioned a few posts back kept playing in my mind. Loudly. "Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all of our praise, You overcame". I mean,, I couldn't even think complete thoughts b/c this song was so much in my mind. I was praising God through my tears. And my husband went to turn on the TV. WOW, I thought. Turning on the TV at a time like this?? He must not care at all about me being so upset! But here's the thing.... he didn't turn on the TV. He turned on the stereo. Which he never does while we are at home; its almost strictly for the dog. And what song was playing at that exact time, you ask? I think you know. " We will overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony, Everyone overcomes". I laid down on the couch and shook, so completely bowled over by the undeniable presence of God at that moment. I could do nothing but mutter, Thank you Jesus, over and over. A warming calm washed over me and my tears dried rather quickly. When the song ended, I sat up and looked at Christopher. "She's going to be okay", I told him, with complete confidence. I have never felt the Lord so strongly as I did in that moment. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that was His way of telling me He is with me, He is with Avery, and we are all going to get through this together. We can overcome anything with the Lord behind us! It was the most awesome event. I thank God for sending me that message. I know that whatever happens, He will be there with us, to help us overcome.

Tomorrow is a new day. If I've learned anything, its that tides change rather quickly. Both in normal life and in the NICU life. I have an interview with a potential pediatrician for Avery and we are in constant prayer that her Brady issues cease. I know there are so many people praying for her, praying for us. I cannot feasibly thank you enough. The outreach we have experienced is phenomenal. It is otherworldly. The fact that all these people are praying for our little girl is humbling and makes me want to reach out to others that much more. To pay it forward, if you will. I thank each and every one of you for loving our girl enough to keep her so fresh in your minds and in your hearts. God is listening and answering, every day. We praise Him through the bad times and the good. It's super easy to praise Him with everything is going your way, right? I want to praise Him when I feel like the world is crashing down on me. Because I know, in those moments, He is closer than ever.

Goodnight everyone.... hope tomorrow brings blessings galore for you and your families : ) xox