Day 40- It's Overnight Time!

We can have her (awake) in bed with us!

A very tired Daddy feeding Baby Bear @ around 2:30 AM

Yes folks... we survived. The Lord got us through! All praise and glory are to Him for this amazing and wonderful couple of days we have had (and are currently having). Yesterday was one of the best days of my life, if not the most nerve-wracking. I had a ton of nervous energy and was so desperate to make sure we had all we needed when we brought the princess home. We skipped her 8:30 touch time in order to get our last morning of sleeping in! (At the nurses request!) That was a really great treat for us. Then we went and fed her at 11:30 and 2:30... both times she ate awesome! It takes her a moment to get going, and I have to admit that my heart skips a beat, just wondering if this is going to be the time she regresses. But she didn't. And Hallelujah, at home we don't have to time her feeds! If she wants to take a whole 30 min to eat, she can be my guest!!! What freedom, what rebels we shall be! 

Carly and company came over and were wonderful enough to get baby some preemie diapers, which we didn't have. They are such blessings in our lives, and I can't wait until Avery is bigger (and has a stronger immune system) so that she and Cara Leigh can play their hearts out together. How awesome for those two that they will have cousins so close in age! These are the times I am so thankful we decided to move back home. 

Before we knew it, it was time. We had cleaned the car (Dad), packed our bags (me), and cleaned everything/gotten everything as ready as we could for the next day (both).... it was finally the last time we would drive to the hospital to visit our child. The last time we would be in this apartment in a life that wasn't all encompassed on Avery. The last time our nursery would sit empty, waiting for a little girl to fill it, and our home, and make it come alive with a love I never thought possible. I squeezed CJ's hand in anticipation... did we have everything we needed? Were we going to be good parents?

We made a pit stop @ Arby's on the way and anxiously carried our overnight stuff up to the rooming in area of the NICU. Our nurse Amy did her final assessment of Avery and then we watched in complete gratitude as she peeled the monitor leads off for the final time. My baby was free.  We videotaped her relatively short journey from where she has been stationed the past 6 weeks to our room for the evening. I immediately got her out and laid her on the bed with me. I wrapped my arms around her and breathed deeply, inhaled the sweet scent of this life that I created, but that God saved. She is beautiful. We grew tired pretty quickly actually, and decided to try and catch a little nap in between her 8:30 and 11:30 bottle. I thought for some reason we would be up all night with excitement and nerves.... well, we were up all night, that's for sure!

And that would be because, lo and behold, our daughter is a piglet. Yes, I said it. A piglet. A snorty, grunty little mess of a thing. Who incidentally, likes to snort and grunt and make the oddest noises (to go with her odd faces) all.freaking.night. So we mostly worried if that was normal and didn't sleep at all. Which was fine. Because ya know what?? I could get up in the middle of night and walk 2 steps to see her. To touch her. To watch her make the ugly faces. I didn't have anyone telling me when I could touch my daughter. I could hold her and rock her to my hearts content. Which I fully plan to do. As soon as I catch some zzzz's ; )

Overall, she did amazing. She ate every bottle in full in 12 min or less. She doesn't really appreciate being in the complete dark or quiet though, as she's never been around either in her life. So that's why we think she couldn't fall asleep properly- thank God for a sound machine and the tv glare!! I know there will still be a million sleepless nights, and I couldn't be more thankful for a moment of any of them. My babe is healthy, she is happy, she is coming home with Mom and Dad after 6 long weeks! I can't wait to find out more and more about her as time goes on. She is a person!  That's so cool! 

We woke up for good around 8 and got her 8:3 bottle ready. Our nurse Hanna (shout out to my favorite firecracker!!) told us that her snortiness was completely normal in preemies and that she would eventually grow out of it. Not before she kept us up for a good while though, I'm fairly sure. She took her away for her final assessment EVER in the NICU and for Dr. T to take his last look at her. We gathered our things and I looked around in semi-disbelief. This has been our entire lives for the past 12 weeks. This hospital. These people. These walls. These rules. Hanna brought back Avery and her discharge papers. She went over the instructions... "Take her here on this date, take her there on this date. Call and get an appt with these developmental clinicians a month out, schedule her follow up sonograms together and a month from now". So much to remember. So much to do. And all I could think about was, "In 15 minutes, I get to take my baby home. I get to put her in my car and drive away from here". 

I kindly requested to be wheeled down and out to my car with my baby's carseat (complete with baby inside) on my lap, ya know, like the normal moms that get to take their babies home after 3 days. I had passed by these women so many times, and felt such real pangs of sadness, of jealousy. Feeling like I would never get that opportunity. So I created it for myself : ) People looked at me and smiled. We got to say goodbye to some of our nurses from when I was on bedrest (especially Ms. Ashley, whom we love and adore and are SO glad God made sure you were there our last day). And as we passed through the doors, got on the elevator, wheeled towards the exit... I smiled. This was it. No turning back. We had a baby, and this was real-life. Now we have to raise this thing! Dad got her safely in the car and I got in the back to watch over her while we drove down the back roads ("Highways are no place for little babies", says Dad). We made it home. We came inside, we changed her, we fed her. We rejoiced in our "new normal". What a ride this is going to be!

Today, I am grateful. I am happy. I am fulfilled. Not only because my daughter is home, but because of the truly amazing journey that Avery has made, and none of that would be possible without the grace of God. He has been there, every single step of the way. In the days I was inconsolable, the days I was joyful beyond belief. The days I thought this day would never happen. He knew it would. He had decided it would long ago. And so today, and every day from here on out, I resolve to live my life in order to thank Him. To love Him. To make our family one that radiates the Lord's love and honors Him with all that we do. I asked, I received, and I am overcome with how awesomely God has shown up for us. When we didn't deserve his mercy on our child, He poured it out. Thank you Father, thank you. Avery's journey has been just as this blog title says... amazing. But it is far from over. Although I started this to keep everyone up to date on our NICU days and nights, Avery's real journey is just beginning. Thank you for coming along with us, for all of it. We are so blessed by you, by your love, and your support. We would have never gotten through the past 40 days and nights in one piece without you. 

This is God's victory. Today, Avery's homecoming, I know Jesus is one happy guy that she is finally home where she belongs. So our prayer request today is this: that she continues to lead a long, happy, healthy life, blessed every day by God's grace and power. And that you are touched by Him as well. xox